Open Letter To Scientists and The Church Of Science

Open Letter To Scientists and The Church Of Science

I saw the other day on BBC TV a science spokesperson make the case that the normal way in which things are reported by the BBC, namely to state one opinion, and then to find another alternative opinion to give a balanced view of the situation or argument, should be suspended in the case of science, as science knows the truth, and anyone who holds a divergent opinion to whatever that science truth may be, must therefore be a deluded idiot and should never be quoted on TV.

This incredible arrogance that goes even beyond what the Catholic Church would dare say in public these days has prompted me to think about science - and how deeply disappointed I am with science the religion of the 20th century.

Here is my open letter to the members of the church of science.

Dear Scientists and Members of the Grand 20th Century Church Of Science.

My name is Silvia, and I was born in 1959.

When I was a child, I was told that science was king and queen, and God all rolled into one.

I was promised that soon, we would have flying cars.

Time travel.

Space travel.

An end to suffering and illness.

A cure for the common cold.

And diet pills that would work.

Oh, and food that comes in little tiny tubes and many colours and contains all the vitamins and trace elements you need for a healthy life and that doesn't have to be cooked for hours.

Further I was promised trips to holiday camps on the Moon and on Mars, as well as glorious underwater cities where you would look out of the window and see great sharks and whales and many multi-coloured fish swim by.

There was even talk of genetically engineered teddy bears, really friendly, that would look after the kids and do the gardening.

I was EXCITED about this future, let me tell you!

I couldn't wait for the next ten years to pass, and to have my dad get the first flying car in the neighbourhood.

So time passes.

I get to be twenty, thirty.


Now I'm fifty.

And I'm STILL waiting for the flying car.

What THE HELL have you lot been doing for the last 45 years?

What THE HELL have you been wasting your time with?

WHERE is my time machine, where is my flying car, where are the teddybear gardeners?

If you look at the footer in this site, you see some examples of random waste of time science.

People studying the farts of herrings, a braincell in a locust watching Star Wars.

Have you gone MAD?


Don't you know that the world awaits something cool, and useful from you guys?

Something that makes having all this technology fun, and solves some long standing problems, like how to get from A to B without queing on a 2 dimensional motorway?

Stop farting about with all this useless rubbish of proving stuff that we know already anyway, such as that if you spin a frog in a blender, it will explode eventually (duh!) and get on to the problem of how to get Silvia her flying car before she expires.

Do something useful.

Look at the research you are involved in and really ask yourself, what good is that to anyone?

And don't give me some rubbish about how 400,000 years down the line your research might open up a new line of research that might lead to a cure for cancer.

Sod that!

Perhaps if we had some decent teddy bear gardners and flying cars, we wouldn't get so stressed and there wouldn't be so much cancer in the first place!

I'm SERIOUSLY disappointed with the results of science at work, mostly unfettered, for near enough a hundred years.

I want some results.

I want all that money spent on something useful, something that actually makes life better, something that gives us that sense of early morning excitement again that we had in the 60s, when the flying cars and the rocket packs were just around the corner - or so we were told.

Stop being such pen pushers and start becoming INVENTORS again.

Invent something that blows my socks off and makes me say, "Yeah! Science is cool! There is a chance that it will eventually do something good for an individual person living on the Earth today."

And while you're there, do something about the structures in your church of science that binds innovation, punishes original thought, and tries to strangle alternate theories before they're even born.

You need SOMETHING, you guys.


Make yourself useful.

And get me my flying car.

For the love of God!



Posted Jun 3, 2010   
Random Waste of Time Science Example
CHEMISTRY: Edward Cussler of the University of Minnesota and Brian Gettelfinger of the University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin, for conducting a careful experiment to settle the longstanding scientific question: can people swim faster in syrup or in water? REFERENCE: "Will Humans Swim Faster or Slower in Syrup?" American Institute of Chemical Engineers Journal, Brian Gettelfinger and E. L. Cussler, vol. 50, no. 11, October 2004, pp. 2646-7.